


in this light, i swear you're mine

by krucxa



Series: from eden [2]
Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, But also, Developing Relationship, Feelings Are Confusing, Fluff and Angst, I am so sorry, M/M, Nephilim, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Sequel, Slow Burn, Some Humor, Unreliable Narrator, Unrequited Love, one sided bbangkyu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:40:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27373603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krucxa/pseuds/krucxa
Summary: Even though mostly one-sided, the bond between a guardian angel and their human is like no other. It comes with their line of work, out of need to protect and care for the person in question, so it's no wonder that most Guardians grow fond of the one under their care.Changmin is no exception.
Relationships: Choi Chanhee | New/Ji Changmin | Q
Series: from eden [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995805
Comments: 10
Kudos: 66





	in this light, i swear you're mine

**Author's Note:**

> THE SEQUEL IS FINALLY HERE, BABEY!! it's only been like... a month, lmao.
> 
> anyway, y'all already know what this is about. angels and angst. some parts of this aren't proof read yet, so if there are any typos/inconsistencies, then please don't mind them sksnkd
> 
> also, i wouldn't recommend reading this without reading the first work in this series. but if u have, then i hope that you'll enjoy this one as well!

Even though mostly one-sided, the bond between a guardian angel and their human is like no other. It comes with their line of work, out of need to protect and care for the person in question, so it's no wonder that most Guardians grow fond of the one under their care.

Changmin is no exception.

"He's petting a puppy, Chanhee," he says with his eyes closed tight. Comfortably lying on the ground, he doesn't pay any attention to the empyrean mist drifting around his frame, seeping through his fingers when he cups it in his palm to remind himself where he _actually_ is at that moment, "he's so cute. I never wanted to be a dog so badly."

For the next few seconds, there's no reply. Maybe if Changmin wasn't so busy, he would pay more attention to that, but like this, he's startled when he feels a light jab at his forearm.

Finally opening his eyes, he blinks a few times to get used to the lighting before glancing at Chanhee questioningly. The other's face remains seemingly neutral, though his stare is clearly judging, "a _dog_. You're an angel and you want to be someone's pet, really?"

The Ruler is floating just an arm's reach away from him, three pairs of wings outstretched though unmoving. He isn't even flying, he's just showing off that he can stay in place, levitating without using his wings—which is something that Changmin obviously can't do yet. A part of him wants to call Chanhee out, but he also can't really be bothered to.

He shrugs.

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Because it _is_ ," Chanhee murmurs back, frowning at him before dropping the topic. He pokes Changmin again, a bit more persistent, "you could at least stop spying on the poor guy. What about his privacy?"

Changmin sends him a glare, but it's probably not very threatening when he's still thinking about Younghoon. The human he was assigned years ago, the only one who's ever made Changmin feel like… this. Sure, he usually feels fond of the people he takes under his wing, but this one… this affection feels different, somehow.

Maybe it's because he'd only recently became a Guardian, so it's only been a few human lifetimes and he's just not fully used to it yet—but he can't bring himself to actually believe that. There has to be more to this, he's sure of it.

So he closes his eyes again, gets a glimpse of Younghoon crouching in front of the puppy with a grin before he's interrupted by Chanhee snapping his fingers. Begrudgingly, he peers up at the other and mutters, "it's not spying if it's literally my job. I'm his Guardian. I have to know what he's up to in order to protect him."

Chanhee doesn't look convinced, though, "what, protect him from the big bad dog that's going to yap at his fingers if you aren't paying attention? Changmin, Guardians aren't meant to _literally_ watch their human all the time. You get breaks, too."

So Chanhee may have a point. And what about it? Just because he's right, that doesn't mean he gets to judge Changmin for being cautious. Even if he, himself, knows that being 'cautious' is just an excuse.

Changmin wrinkles his nose, "but what if I don't want a break?" he murmurs back, avoiding Chanhee's gaze. He doesn't want to see the other's reaction, doesn't want to hear any response to begin with. He already knows that Chanhee doesn't agree with him, a confirmation would be useless at this point, therefore he turns on his side, just so that his back faces the Ruler instead.

The thing about being friends with an angel whose rank is high enough to be considered important is that they're more likely to follow heavenly rules without any questions. Perhaps that's why it's easier to talk about this with Sunwoo rather than Chanhee; Sunwoo doesn't get that weird look in his eyes when Changmin speaks of Younghoon. He understands.

Chanhee, on the other hand… well, Changmin can't even tell what he may think about his questionable workaholic habits. They've known each other long enough that it should be easy for him to guess, yet when it comes to this topic, Chanhee remains unreadable to him every single time.

The responding sigh is so quiet that Changmin almost doesn't even register it; followed by the sound of Chanhee's feet finally hitting the ground, probably finding no point in keeping up his floating act anymore. Changmin kind of expects him to leave, but then the Ruler places his hand on Changmin's shoulder, shaking lightly.

"You may not _want_ a break, but you definitely need it," he states, and Changmin lets himself ignore his words for a few passing seconds—he doesn't want to admit it, but Chanhee's hold on him is insistent, so in the end, he rolls onto his back again, staring up at Chanhee and waiting for him to continue.

Apparently satisfied by his reaction, the other gives him a small smile, lifting his palm before offering it out to Changmin, "come on."

Now, they're both aware that Changmin doesn't actually need any help standing up. They have wings for a reason, so Chanhee's offer is, well, practically useless. But it's probably a way of showing affection, or something along these lines, so Changmin doesn't really hesitate before taking his hand, and the other pulls him up easily, enough so that Changmin almost stumbles right into him in the process.

The other doesn't seem to mind. Frankly, he doesn't even react at all. He just looks at Changmin for a moment longer before turning around, and Changmin has no other choice but to follow as the other never lets go of his palm.

"Hold on, where are we going?" he asks after a few seconds passed by with no explanation from Chanhee, watching as the empyrean mist ahead of them parts with every step they take—it flits up, hanging above their heads in a way that's awfully similar to earthly clouds before it drips onto the ground again. Not so earthly after all.

"Forward."

Changmin barely stops himself from poking the Ruler in the ribs, and that's only because his hand is still preoccupied. He tries to scowl, even though the other isn't looking at him, but the corner of his lips tilts up anyway.

"So what, isn't this pointless? Are we just walking for the sake of it?" he jabs, and that's what gets Chanhee to finally glance back; but only to send him an amused look.

"Perhaps," he replies, voice light, "but it distracted you, so my plan worked, didn't it?"

And that gets Changmin to shut up. Because, as he takes his time considering Chanhee's words, he can't actually find any gaping hole in that logic. So he may actually be right.

Changmin will let him have this one, just because he feels like being nice today. And maybe because Chanhee looks a bit cute when things go according to his plans, but that's besides the point.

What is, actually, important, is that this entire thing—so simple, just a walk with Chanhee around Heaven, a place that they both know way too well to actually feel mesmerised about anymore—it ends up distracting him just enough that he leaves Younghoon alone, for a while.

Maybe the human _does_ need some privacy. But Changmin is worried about him, that's all. He just wants Younghoon to have a nice life. Because he's a good Guardian.

Or something.

Changmin can't even really convince his own self of this.

「 🌙 」

The thing is, Changmin likes his job. Really.

He likes taking care of others, likes to anonymously help people and watch as their mood lifts due to what seems like simple 'good luck', that is: Changmin's little interventions. There's just something satisfying about meddling into someone's life in such a pure, well-meaning way.

He'd found it gratifying before, just as he does now, when the human in particular is a young, handsome man like Younghoon.

Changmin may not know him personally, nor realize what his character is actually like—but he recognizes the way Younghoon's eyes light up when Changmin finds a way to improve his day, he's seen how the boy acts whenever he thinks he's completely alone, he'd witnessed Younghoon's apparent love for pets, he'd heard him sing along to his favorite songs just as often as he'd witnessed him practice; be it on his own or with other trainees. So maybe Younghoon has no idea that Changmin exists, and therefore they don't really know each other, but all these little details make up for it.

Changmin may not personally know Younghoon, but it certainly feels like he does.

And he's lucky, he deems, that the person he was assigned this time turned out to be… not just a decent human being, like the ones he'd taken under his wing before, but so much more than that; making it so easy for Changmin to grow fond of him.

It's amazing how little time passes until Changmin looks at Younghoon and finds himself almost just as keen on the human as he is of Chanhee; not to say that he loves Sunwoo any less, but in his case, it's different. Changmin doesn't look at Sunwoo like even that should be perceived as a privilege in itself; Chanhee, on the other hand, is special to him in a way that Changmin can't quite place.

Perhaps it's because Changmin idolizes him, in a way; the other is a Ruler, after all. It's hard not to look at him through pink tinted glasses even when they're as close as they are. His presence demands attention, his wings always catch Changmin's gaze and to say that he doesn't often find himself distracted when he's with Chanhee would be a lie.

It's just that, it's different with Chanhee than it is with Younghoon.

Chanhee is one of his absolute best friends. One of his only friends, really. Changmin's perception of him is accurate to their relationship; it's platonic. For sure.

Meanwhile, Younghoon is someone new in Changmin's life. Well, as new as he is old, but human lifespans are almost laughable compared to an angel's one, so to Changmin it feels like he has grown in just a blink of an eye.

Younghoon is interesting in a way that Changmin can't ignore. His life is different on so many levels that it can't even be compared to what Changmin knows, so obviously he finds himself intrigued.

All the varying aspects of an aspiring trainee's tale seem like straight out of a novel, simply because the human life is already foreign to an angel like him; so even though his fascination with Younghoon may not be considered healthy—not from Chanhee's point of view, definitely—Changmin thinks, it should be understandable, how naturally it came to him.

In hindsight, though, maybe it's a bit naive of him to assume that one could truly know someone without ever interacting with them, not even once.

「 🌙 」

While all angels have a corporeal form besides their real one, Guardians don't usually need to use it—quite the opposite, it's generally useless for them, at least most of the time it is, as the number one rule of taking a human under their wing is to never reveal their existence to them.

For a Guardian, what's more handy is the so-called aerial form; named as such because to a human eye, they seemingly become nothing more than air, invisible though still tangible.

Changmin doesn't really like using his aerial form.

On one hand, sure, he can get somewhat close to Younghoon, stay in his presence at a respectful (and arguably safe) distance; but that's the thing. Even though he's invisible, he can still touch things, knock them over, he can fall over himself even, and if he forgets to keep himself in check—he can be overheard, too. So much for staying hidden.

With time, he'd deemed, the aerial form sounds cooler than it actually is. One could even call it risky, especially if an angel lacks a heavenly grace. And Changmin wouldn't go as far as to say that he's graceless, no, but he has to admit that _sometimes_ he can get a bit clumsy.

These times, apparently, made Younghoon believe his house is being haunted.

Which, well, Changmin will take that over the human finding out the truth—that is, that his guardian angel tends to forget that he's actually tangible and his wings knock stuff down every now and then. That probably wouldn't be so alarming if his human had a cat, but unfortunately, that's not the case, so Changmin is forced to meet the consequences of his own actions.

Because, while Younghoon is busy on his phone (texting, probably, though Changmin has no idea who), Changmin loiters in his room, wandering from one corner to another, gaze bouncing off books and pictures and even a single poster hanging on the door—he doesn't get to do this often, not if he wants to stay safe in Heaven with no possibility of Younghoon noticing his presence. This time, though, he finds that he doesn't mind taking the risk. And maybe that's a mistake on his part.

The human must have stopped texting, switching to… whatever he may be doing on his phone now, Changmin isn't quite sure how that device works—but then Younghoon plays a video, and the volume paired with the suddenness of it startles Changmin enough into knocking into one of the bookshelves.

It doesn't move too much, obviously, but one of the books slips out and falls on the ground with a loud thud that, in turn, scares Younghoon. He doesn't jump quite like Changmin did, but he does pause the video and stares, completely quiet, at the book in question. Almost as if he's waiting for it to move again. Absurd.

But then, he drags his gaze up, and if not for the fact that Changmin is positive that he's still very much invisible to the human, he'd think that Younghoon looked right at him. It only lasts a split second, though, because Younghoon's eyes wander around the room, before he pouts.

"Whatever spirit is here right now, that wasn't very nice of you," he says, voice completely serious. It makes for a ridiculous sight, and Changmin has to physically stop himself from laughing—he has to stay quiet, for Christ's sake, as he can't afford to let Younghoon know of his real identity, but this. This is a funny situation, even if an unfortunate one.

He's partly tempted to pick up the book and tuck it into the right place, but he doesn't want the human to realize that yes, there's actually someone else in the room, so he stays put.

And then Younghoon stands up. And he walks in the direction of the book; which, inconveniently, lies right in front of Changmin.

So much for keeping his distance.

Panicking, he tries to keep as silent as possible as he takes a couple steps back, but as he does so, his feathers ruffle against the wardrobe behind him. Clearly, the sound is loud enough for Younghoon to hear it, as the other stops in his tracks and straightens his posture, once again looking around. This time, he seems way more wary, and Changmin quite literally holds his breath until Younghoon shrugs and crouches to grab the book.

Once more, though, Changmin forgets his own stupid existence and sighs in relief. It's barely audible, but due to their proximity, the human seems to pick up on it as his eyes widen before he quite literally drops the book back down. He literally had one job. Though, both of them can't follow simple instructions, apparently, given the fact that Changmin is doing something that he definitely shouldn't and he could potentially lose his job if he keeps this up.

So it's no wonder that he tenses up, backing up into the wardrobe as Younghoon eyes the room quietly, eventually putting the book in its place. Then, as clear as ever, the human speaks up again, "okay, listen, I don't mind your presence as long as you don't actually haunt my house. No more books falling off, or else I'll kick you out."

Which is probably supposed to be a threat but Changmin has to hold back a snicker, because Younghoon really did mistake him for a ghost. At first Changmin just kind of assumed that he did, but now this confirms it; honestly, he would have been offended that Younghoon would even consider getting rid of him, if only the situation wasn't this ridiculous.

A ghost. Right. Changmin is so much more than a mere lost soul. But it's okay, Younghoon doesn't really know the difference, so he can't really blame the guy. Not yet, at least.

So, when Younghoon goes back to what he was doing before this whole thing happened, Changmin sees his chance. He already spent too much time down here, anyway. If he stays for longer, then who knows what could happen—Younghoon might even realize that the presence in his room isn't that of a ghost but a whole different being.

Changmin can't afford to be either considered a demon or for Younghoon to find out his heavenly nature, so, the moment that he's sure his human is already too distracted to pay attention to a sudden drop in temperature, he shields his body with his wings and leaves this plane of existence.

(Immediately, the human shivers. Though for the life of him, he can't tell why.)

「 🌙 」

Water, such a normal part of human life, remains foreign to most angels. Changmin isn't an exception in that case.

He never touched it, never drank it, usually made sure to stay at a safe distance from it if he ventured out on Earth. A drink, a cup of tea or coffee? That, he knows, but stray water droplets, baths, rain, the sea… he isn't familiar with these.

He doesn't descend from Heaven when it rains, well aware of the way it messes with an angel's disguise, he never accompanied Younghoon when the weather wasn't to be trusted, and usually, he'd just watch the other from all the way up in Heaven, where he knows he's safe.

Younghoon is, obviously, different from him in that aspect.

"He's swimming," he murmurs to Sunwoo, slowly opening his eyes just to see the other stare at him, clearly intrigued. He's always like that; he's so interested in the life below, in every little detail that Changmin is willing to tell him. It's amusing, a bit, as it's the perfect chance for him to gush over Younghoon, but it's also a bit confusing.

Not that Changmin can really blame him. He's probably just as weird as Sunwoo, when he thinks about it. They're both suspiciously fascinated with Earth.

"Swimming?" the other repeats, doesn't even try to hide his baffled expression, "why, what's so enjoyable about it? I don't see the point."

Changmin snickers, "trust me, me neither. But he seems to like it, so," and with that, he slips his eyes closed again.

Perhaps the reason why they're both so against swimming in particular is simple; their wings. He'd rather stay away from Younghoon for a prolonged amount of time, as much as it pains him, than get his feathers wet.

After all, once their wings are completely drenched, what's there to do other than drown? Even when one has only one pair of wings, they're too heavy to even try to struggle; and Changmin doesn't have a death wish, so he avoids it like Hell.

But then, Younghoon is just a human. He doesn't have to worry about it in the same way as an angel does; he swims freely, just for fun, for the sake of it. Watching him do so is, actually, surprisingly calming.

"But is it safe for them?" Sunwoo's voice chimes up again, somehow clear but also sounding like he's far, far away at the same time. Probably because Changmin is there, but also not entirely. Not while he observes his human.

Changmin blinks his eyes open, shakes his head to get rid of the image of Younghoon and says, "if they're able to swim, then yes. Mostly," then, as he thinks of Younghoon again, he adds, "he's definitely good at it."

"Daredevil," Sunwoo murmurs back, and that's enough to draw out a laugh from Changmin.

This thing, that is, the two of them sitting down to chat about life down on Earth, and Younghoon specifically—it happens quite often. Usually, they do so without Chanhee, but this time, the Ruler decided to keep them company, for some reason.

He doesn't actually join their conversation, though. He just sits an arm's reach away, staring at them quietly, as if there's something on his mind and he's not even entirely there. His gaze bounces from Changmin to Sunwoo occasionally, but even then, he doesn't comment.

At one point, Sunwoo grows tired of it, because he points out, "why are you staring like that? It's like you're judging us."

Which isn't exactly the same wording that Changmin would use, but Sunwoo may be right to a degree. There's something… off, about the face that Chanhee's making as he listens to them talk. It's weirding him out.

Instead of answering Sunwoo, though, Chanhee only scowls (though he doesn't actually look very angry) before he glances away. He still doesn't move away though. Almost like he wants to say something, but isn't sure how to breach the subject.

Changmin wishes that he would. He's been acting a bit weird lately; though, if he's being honest, all three of them have. He can't exactly pinpoint what changed between them in the past couple of days, maybe something happened between Sunwoo and Chanhee that he isn't aware of—but whatever it may be, he hopes it wasn't too serious.

He doesn't want their dynamics to change.

So, to keep himself distracted, he closes his eyes again and continues to observe Younghoon. Water doesn't seem so scary when he watches his human swim around in it.

It's almost enough to fool him into thinking that it's safe; he's sure that if he could, he would join Younghoon in the pool, drenched wings be damned.

「 🌙 」

Younghoon, as Changmin has learned, doesn't have too many friends. Maybe it's because he gets a bit shy at times, maybe it's because he focuses on practicing more than on getting along with everyone around. There is one trainee he'd befriended, though; an interesting one. Very interesting.

At first, Changmin couldn't really figure out what it was about the other human that caught his attention. The first time Younghoon met him was the first time Changmin saw him as well; even back then, there was something intriguing about Haknyeon, something familiar, even. Changmin couldn't place it for the life of him.

He would spend hours watching Younghoon practice, observing the two interact, sometimes nothing more than a friendly nod or wave, other times attempting small talk, even whole conversations. Haknyeon seemed like a normal human, mostly, but for some reason Changmin felt a need to keep an eye on him.

As if this friendship could end badly. Or quite the opposite, even. He couldn't figure out if he was being cautious or if he had grown jealous of a person that could simply go up to Younghoon, strike up a conversation and befriend him as easily as that; he knows for a fact that he yearns to be able to do that. To get close to Younghoon, to actually get to know him on a personal level; but was he just getting jealous or was there something more to that?

For a long time, he wasn't able to tell. Now, though, he realizes exactly what it was that drove him insane about Haknyeon.

The thing is, even Changmin uses his corporeal form sometimes. He only does so rarely, aware of how dangerous it may be, but at times it just seems necessary. Today, he descends from Heaven just to stand in front of a café, of all places; he knows that Younghoon plans to go there before practice, even going as far as inviting Haknyeon to come with him.

That's right. Changmin went all the way down from Heaven to spy on a couple of dudes hanging out. But there's more to it! He's sure that there's something off about Haknyeon; he's just trying to keep Younghoon safe, or something. Just in case. Haknyeon doesn't smell like the Neath, so the chances of him being a demon are low, but still, Changmin can't rule out that possibility.

So, being the good guardian angel that he is, he goes out of his way to make sure that his human isn't in danger.

Even if it means that he has to walk into a small, definitely lacking any heavenly influence café; actually, he's pretty sure one of the workers has to be a Hellspawn, given the scent that fills the building. But Changmin isn't one of the Powers, he's a Guardian, and his mission doesn't involve slaying random demons, so he stays put.

If he doesn't miss the chance to give a look at that one barista that gives him Neathly vibes, no one needs to know about it. Besides the demon, of course.

At least that assures that no demon will meddle with Younghoon.

So he orders a drink, one that he made sure to know the price of before he came in the first place—being a Guardian, he gets easy access to things required for his missions, money included; but he doesn't want to materialize the cash in front of everyone inside, so he'd prepared in advance—and he takes a seat by the corner, where he's sure he won't attract too many stares. That's the last thing he'd want to do in such a situation.

And just as he'd expected, it doesn't take much time until the duo arrives. Haknyeon is talking animatedly and Younghoon bursts out laughing at whatever he said, but quickly quiets down as they step inside, like he's suddenly conscious of the looks (some curious, some scolding) that has earned him.

Which is, frankly, uncalled for. Changmin should be the only one paying attention to Younghoon. It's quite literally his job, no, he's not being jealous, why would he be?

Exactly.

In the next few minutes, nothing much happens. Haknyeon goes to order their drinks while Younghoon looks for an empty table; they end up sitting by the window. Perched on the opposite sides of the table, there's an empty chair between them. Changmin isn't sure why he's paying attention to such a detail, but it fills him with some sort of satisfaction, the fact that they aren't sitting right next to each other.

It also makes him feel somewhat numb, though. His Younghoon, Haknyeon, and an empty chair. A duo that could be, should be a trio—Changmin wishes he could sit there with them, chat about whatever topic that comes to mind. Maybe about some movie, maybe about their practice that starts in half an hour, or maybe just a few teasing remarks between friends.

It's quite absurd, honestly speaking. Changmin is an angel, and yet he wishes for something as simple as the life of a human. A life that passes by in the blink of an eye, a life full of inconveniences and the type of pain that the ethereal ones will never have to experience. And yet, as he looks at Younghoon, he wants to be just that; a human. His friend. Younghoon's friend, but maybe Haknyeon's too, while he's at it.

He would give up his wings if this would guarantee him exactly that.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he can't help but feel his cheeks flame with shame. He shouldn't even think of such things, and yet here he is. If this keeps up, that could end badly.

But could anyone really blame him?

_Stop_ , he tells himself. This isn't healthy. So he takes a sip of his drink, and another, eventually gulping down half of what's in the cup all at once and burning his tongue as he does so because he just needs a distraction, any kind that he could get.

Peeking his tongue out between his lips, he waves frantically at his face, wishing for it to cool down. He's a mess, his emotions are also a mess, and this entire situation is ridiculous because he should be focusing on his mission instead of being, well. Like this.

So, while still fanning his face, he chances a glance at Younghoon's table and almost jumps out of his skin when he notices Haknyeon staring right back at him.

This is wrong.

Nothing is according to plan. He should stay in the background, away from Younghoon and his friend because he cannot interact with them in any way, but this—he isn't even sure what to think of this.

Because Haknyeon is peering at him without even bothering to hide his curiosity, cheeks tinted a shade of pink so pale that it's hard to tell it's even there and vaguely, Changmin recognizes this kind of face. The problem is, Younghoon makes this exact expression while looking at cute puppies and kittens. And Changmin definitely isn't a pet, so to say that Haknyeon's gaze is puzzling him would be an understatement.

Dumbfounded, all he can do is blink before he quickly looks away. He can still feel Haknyeon staring at him for a couple more seconds, the fact only making him even more nervous, before the other finally focuses on something else.

It's confusing, though. Changmin doesn't even know what about him could, possibly, catch Haknyeon's attention—he's literally sitting in a far away corner, in between all the other customers. He did make a sudden move, yes, but only because he burned his tongue; he's sure that happens quite often at such a place. Besides that, though, he should be perfectly blending in. Key word, should.

And yet, he's still vaguely aware of Haknyeon glancing at him every now and then in the middle of their conversation. At least he doesn't point Changmin out to Younghoon—now, that would be an even bigger problem. The last thing a Guardian should want to happen is being noticed by their human.

So at least in that aspect, he's safe. Younghoon is sitting with his back to Changmin, so unless he turns around for no reason, then he should stay none the wiser about Changmin's presence. And Haknyeon? Well, this is a bit trickier, but Changmin is sure that with time, the other will forget about him entirely. Why would anyone remember a random stranger they haven't even talked to in the first place? Right.

But then he catches Haknyeon's eye again and the human smiles at him.

Changmin's heart almost drops out of his ass right then and there. He tries for some friendly wave, hoping that'll get Haknyeon to leave him alone, but then Younghoon seems to notice that his friend isn't paying all his attention to their chat anymore, and he moves in his seat to follow Haknyeon's gaze.

Panicking, Changmin looks away, turning so that the others won't see his face like this. He props his head on his hand and acts like he's texting someone under the table, and by the time that he finally checks up on Younghoon, the duo aren't staring at him anymore. Good. If Changmin is lucky, then Younghoon didn't even realize that it was _him_ that Haknyeon seemed interested in.

That's an awkward situation avoided, so Changmin lets out a sigh, relaxing in his seat as he continues to watch the two interact. Haknyeon's drink is already empty, only two mostly melted ice cubes bouncing around the bottom of the cup as the boy shakes it, says something to Younghoon, probably reminding him of their practice. At least, that's what Changmin assumes when he notices the hour.

And with that, they get up to leave.

Nothing much happened. Just as Changmin expected, this was just two friends hanging out— there was nothing to worry after all, right? He didn't have to go all the way down from Heaven just to see this.

Maybe he can trust Haknyeon with befriending Younghoon, after all. He seems genuine enough, taking both his and Younghoon's empty cups to throw them into trash right before they head out.

As they step out of the building, Haknyeon sends Changmin one last look, successfully flustering him once more. But then the door closes, and they're both gone.

What was that? Why was Haknyeon giving him this much attention? This is… weird. Usually, when a human notices an angel in disguise, they're too bashful to meet the angel's eye again. There's a reason why angels tend to greet humans with the words _fear not_ , when there's something needed to be said.

But Haknyeon's reaction to seeing a Guardian was, well, unusual, to say the least. He definitely makes a mental note of that detail.

Though, that's not very important right now. Right now, he can head back to Heaven and forget about his duties for a while. He definitely deserves a break.

When he stands up to leave, though, he notices a smudge of color on one of the seats by the table his human and Haknyeon just occupied. Frowning, he makes his way over, making sure to appear as casual as he can, and he stops right by Haknyeon's chair. As he looks down at it, he can't quite believe what he sees.

A small, orange feather lies right by the corner of the seat. It's surprising that it didn't fly off the moment that Changmin came over, what with how light it looks.

The thing is, he had watched the duo, and by extension their table, since they've stepped inside. The feather couldn't have appeared just like that, from nothing, so it's undeniable—it had to be Haknyeon's.

Seems like, despite everything, he isn't as human as he seems.

Changmin's instincts were right, after all; but what exactly is he?

For one, Haknyeon couldn't have been an angel. Younghoon already has a Guardian, and angels, no matter their rank, don't make it a habit to walk on Earth this freely, not if they could get caught so easily.

Though, he can't be a Hellspawn, either. He doesn't smell of the Neath, his eyes never shimmer gold, and Changmin has never noticed Younghoon flinch or comment about Haknyeon's skin seeming unusually cold whenever they would touch by chance.

A fallen angel is also out of the question; he had never encountered Haknyeon up in Heaven, and if he had fallen before Changmin even came to exist, wouldn't he already become a demon? It's been a long time, after all, so the possibility of that is low, if not nonexistent.

There's only one other option, then.

The realization is sudden, almost like a slap to the face. Frankly, Changmin is surprised it took him this long to figure it out.

Haknyeon is a Nephilim. A child of a human and a fallen angel; theoretically, they shouldn't even exist. Not by heavenly rules, at least.

If he's truly what Changmin thinks he is, there's no way to know what he has in mind. Does he even realize his own partly ethereal nature? Not necessarily. Changmin hasn't seen him act in a way that would suggest it, so going by that, no, he might not even be aware of it.

And Changmin isn't sure what to think of this.

His assigned human… befriending a Nephilim. A being that he was taught to consider as a result of an exiled angel's sin.

It doesn't sound right to him, though. The implication leaves a bitter taste in his mouth—that an angel isn't allowed to love. That rule had always seemed questionable to him. Why should something so innocent be forbidden without any explanation? Why should it be seen as a sin?

He just doesn't understand it. But then, maybe he doesn't want to.

Now, going by the rules, what Changmin should probably do is let one of the Lordships know of a witnessed Nephilim. Their kind is considered dangerous, after all, in a whole different way than demons.

What should probably come as a surprise, but actually settles in quite easily, is that… Changmin doesn't want to do that. He doesn't want Haknyeon to suffer, and for what? For simply existing?

So he picks up the feather, watching as it crumbles into just a gust of empyrean mist, cupped in his palm before it disappears completely. Then, feeling his shoulders slacken, relaxing due to the knowledge that the only evidence is gone; he decides to act like he never even saw it in the first place.

「 🌙 」

Despite the fact that it's a sunny day, the temperature is chill. Just a tad too cold for Changmin's taste.

Coming from Heaven, he's not exactly used to lower temperatures. The only place they remind him of is the Neath; and he's only been there once, before, for a very short while, but long enough to deem that he doesn't like how cool everything down there is.

Even in his aerial form, he still feels it. The icy breeze that passes him, tickles the back of his neck, ruffles his feathers; he shivers, pulling his wings closer to his body to maintain at least some warmth.

Following Younghoon again seemed like a good idea; this time, he made sure to remain invisible to him, as he's still unsure what to think of Haknyeon's reaction towards him—but now he can't help but reconsider, especially when another gust of wind hits his back.

Damn Earthly weather. He doesn't have to put up with anything like that, not back home, so it's not really his fault that he didn't even think to bring a coat with himself.

To make matters worse, he'd lost Younghoon in the crowd.

He can't even stand still for a second to close his eyes and check where the other already walked off to, because there's too many people around that may not notice him and would barrel straight into him—or his wings. So that's a risk that he can't take.

Wincing, he keeps his wings close as he tries to sneak through the crowd into the side of the street. By the time that he gets there, he leans against the building behind him—probably a store, if his guess was correct—and he stops to consider his choices.

He could go back to Heaven. Immediately. That's probably the best idea at the moment.

But at the same time, he still wants to make sure that Younghoon is safe. He's pretty sure the other is only going to a cat café, but still, who knows what kind of things could happen to him on the way! Changmin just can't let anything bad happen to his human.

Though it's not like he can currently move anywhere, so. Maybe heading back to Heaven really was the superior idea.

Before he can do that, though, a hand lands on his shoulder. Blinking, he whips his head to check who it belongs to.

Now, the thing about an angel's aerial form is that they only remain invisible to humans. Other ethereal beings, be it demons or angels, still can spot them easily. That's why for a moment, he gets scared that either a Hellspawn, or a particular Nephilim, found him—but then he meets Chanhee's gaze and his shoulders immediately relax.

What could the Ruler be doing there? In a crowded street, away from his own assigned work? Changmin can't help but wonder, but then, maybe he doesn't really want to know the answers to that.

Meeting Chanhee by chance is already a nice surprise. He's willing to go on a break if it's with the other.

"Found you," Chanhee says. There's this teasing glint in his eye, and Changmin can't stop himself from grinning back at him.

"You did. Why? Did you have anything in mind?" he replies, reaching up to touch Chanhee's hand and only then does the Ruler let go of his shoulder. He still looks satisfied with himself, though.

"Yes. A little birdie told me that you went to masquerade down on Earth again," oh, Changmin is going to murder Sunwoo. Well, maybe not murder, but he'll definitely do something. He'll think of a better threat soon. Chanhee raises an eyebrow, "so, obviously, I came to stop you from overworking yourself again. We are going on a date, young man."

The term is surely supposed to be scolding, but Changmin stops listening right before that. He tilts his head, unsure if he heard Chanhee right, before he slowly repeats, "date?"

It's almost hilarious, how quickly Chanhee's face turns pink when he realizes what Changmin is referring to. For a second, he only gapes at Changmin, before he swats at his shoulder, "like, a _friend_ date, idiot."

Changmin laughs; it's a bit forced. He isn't sure why these words make him feel a bit… off.

"Obviously," he agrees, not meeting the other's gaze. If Chanhee notices the change in his behavior, he doesn't comment on it. Though, given the fact that the other is busy fanning his cheeks, he probably doesn't actually notice.

Then, the Ruler elbows him lightly to get his attention again. He makes a face at Chanhee and the other says, "so, change into your corporeal form. We're going to a," pausing, Chanhee looks around the street before he seems to spot something interesting enough, "teahouse. It looks nice enough, I guess."

Of course, he does as he's told. It's a good thing that they're standing to the side and Chanhee's partly covering him from view, so he can do it in peace. He closes his eyes, concentrating, and by the time he opens them, he knows he's visible again. Well, visible to humans. Semantics.

He has to admit, it's weird to see Chanhee in his corporeal form, too. He's so used to the image of the other with three pairs of wings that seeing him seemingly without them throws him off for a moment. It's not bad, per se, just… different.

Almost like he's human.

If Changmin ignores the remaining weight on his back, he could pretend like they're both human for a change. Just for a day. Just for this date.

Now, when Chanhee takes his hand to lead him through the crowd, his heart picks up its pace. He can't hold himself back from smiling; for once, he can act like he's free. Like there aren't any heavenly rules bounding him.

With Chanhee, it's easy to pretend.

「 🌙 」

It's a Saturday and Younghoon's staying home. He's not alone today, though.

This time, Changmin doesn't leave Heaven; not if Haknyeon's with Younghoon. Going to the human's house in his aerial form isn't an option when one of the boys could easily see him. So he stays put, observing the two through his link with his human. Lying with his eyes closed, away from Chanhee or Sunwoo so he wouldn't have any distractions this time, he relaxes.

It's a calm day, even for Younghoon. Even despite the fact that he's hanging out with Haknyeon in particular.

As Changmin watches them, he can't help but pay extra attention to Younghoon's friend; after finding out his identity, he tries to look for any other possible clues that he has missed, but in the end, he comes up with nothing. Haknyeon's wings never show up, he never even implies that he's aware of any ethereal beings.

It's weird. Changmin has never met a Nephilim before, but he'd always thought that they'd realize their not so human nature fairly soon; during their childhood, maybe. Yet Haknyeon seems completely oblivious.

Changmin has heard a lot about beings like him. He's heard of eyes that shimmer silver, in contrast to a demon's gaze—so far, Haknyeon's eyes remained their natural color, so Changmin isn't sure whether that's true or just a rumour—of enhanced strength, unusual height… and again, Haknyeon looks pretty average. Changmin's starting to feel that everything he's heard of Nephilim before was plain bullshit. Or a stereotype based on the very few Nephilim that angels have encountered before. Either or.

It's actually kind of funny how _normal_ Haknyeon is. He gets along with Younghoon, a human, well enough. He blends in better than Changmin himself ever could. He lives a seemingly human life despite the angel blood in his veins, and Changmin isn't sure whether he's jealous of him or if he pities the boy.

Haknyeon isn't even aware that he's going to outlive all his human friends. It's… a bit sad, when he thinks of it like that.

So he distracts himself by turning his focus to the movie the duo put on.

It's a comedy, he guesses, though he doesn't recognize it. Not that he really expected to know it, coming from Heaven and all, but it serves as a reminder of what he is and what these two aren't, of all the differences between the three of them.

...He's been overthinking too much, lately.

Almost as if sensing his thoughts, Haknyeon suddenly lifts his head, looking around the room. His gaze lands on the windowsill—or, rather, the mug standing on it. The drink inside is already cool, as it was placed there hours before. Changmin knows it, he's seen Younghoon do that; Haknyeon, on the other hand, blinks a couple of times, like he's expecting it to disappear, before he points it out.

"What—what is this?" he gestures vaguely at the mug, though Younghoon only spares it a glance. He shrugs.

"It's for the ghost," he says, easily as that. Like it's completely normal.

Haknyeon chokes. Honestly, Changmin considers himself lucky that the Nephilim didn't yelp. He appreciates his ears not hurting, thank you very much.

"The _what_ now."

Changmin almost slaps himself. He really shouldn't have meddled into Younghoon's life enough to make him believe that he's being haunted. This is, frankly, ridiculous; and it's all Changmin's fault. Because he's an incompetent Guardian, apparently.

At least Haknyeon only seems slightly thrown off. Well, it's not like he has the right to judge Younghoon's questionable actions. He's a Nephilim, after all. His own existence should be as impossible as the existence of, well, ghosts. So. It's not like he has the room to talk.

At that very moment, Changmin opens his eyes and groans. He doesn't want to watch anymore. He's already embarrassed enough.

If Chanhee notices him acting a bit off a couple hours later, he thankfully doesn't comment on it. Though he does eye Changmin oddly for a moment.

It doesn't help him feel any better. Naturally, he flicks Chanhee in the arm, and for once, the Ruler doesn't try to fight him for doing so.

「 🌙 」

When Changmin first heard of Sunwoo's Fall, he didn't believe it for a second. He'd looked Chanhee right in the eye, huffed out a "yeah, right," and went back to what he was doing before the other interrupted him, only realizing that Chanhee was serious after a whole minute passed without a reply.

Only then did it really sink in.

His memory gets fuzzy after that; first, he remembers growing numb, though he couldn't tell how much time passes before he fills with so many emotions at once that he can't even pinpoint a single one of them. Overwhelmed, he cries for the first time in his life, and he doesn't even notice the moment that Chanhee slips away; but it's understandable. They both need a moment to really think this through, to let it register that Sunwoo had truly left them. That he's no longer around.

That Sunwoo is stuck somewhere down on Earth and by law, they should be considered enemies from this point on. As if they could ever think of Sunwoo like that.

As if Changmin could be such a hypocrite when he himself starts doubting the heavenly rules.

For the following two days, Changmin can't even bring himself to check up on Younghoon. It only makes him feel worse, though—avoiding his job, lazing around because he can't will himself into doing anything, not when it feels like there's an empty hole in his soul that should have been filled by his best friend.

After that, he goes for the other extreme and completely overworks himself in order to ignore a reality in which three became two.

Unexpectedly, Chanhee doesn't even reach out to him for a whole week. For someone who thinks so highly of the heavenly rules, it's almost surprising to see him so affected by them; but then, it's probably because it was Sunwoo, specifically, that had gotten reported. Changmin is pretty sure that no one else's Fall could make Chanhee act… like this. So distant, completely silent on the rare times they run into each other that week, barely even acknowledging Changmin's existence.

But then, it's not like Changmin could blame him. They're both going through the same thing, even if they cope in different ways.

It does make him feel lonely, though. Away from both Sunwoo and Chanhee, checking up on Younghoon every few seconds without actually interacting with him—because how could he? He's a guardian angel, after all, he can't talk to his human, even if he's as lonely as he could get—and it isn't until then that he realizes how even when he's next to Younghoon, he couldn't be more alone.

Because despite it all, Younghoon isn't even aware of his company. He never is.

And as much as he wishes that things were different, Changmin wishes he could do something about it. That he could show up in front of the human, hold his hand, ask how his day is going. He longs to spend time with Younghoon, with the other actually _knowing_ him, feeling the same type of affection towards Changmin as he does towards him.

At that point, he isn't even sure what makes him hurt more. Chanhee's silence, or Younghoon's obliviousness.

Though it doesn't take too long until Chanhee seeks him out again, it's been enough time for Changmin to come to the conclusion that he's in love with someone that will never love him back. Not if he stays in Heaven, not if he keeps his wings. And the thing is, he isn't sure how much longer he'll manage to ignore that fact.

Maybe it's just him feeling depressed after Sunwoo's exile, but he finds himself wondering what it would be like if he ended up leaving, as well.

Shaking his head to get rid of the thought, he tries for a smile when Chanhee comes up to him. It's the first time that he actually looks Changmin in the eye since they heard the news, and Changmin's heart aches for a reason unknown even to him.

Because as he meets the other's gaze, the Ruler looks so obviously sad despite the calm mask he's trying to keep up. He reaches out for Changmin's hand, holding his palm like it's an apology for avoiding him for an entire week, and… and surprisingly, Changmin finds that he would forgive Chanhee anything. Maybe they're just that close. Maybe… no, don't finish that thought, he thinks. He's in love with Younghoon, he's sure of that; Chanhee is his friend. As dear as he is to Changmin's heart, it's all completely platonic. Right.

"Hey," the Ruler says, easily catching Changmin's attention, "how are you?"

He wishes he could reply that he's doing well. He wishes that he could form a reply that wouldn't disappoint the other, but he's scared that if he parts his lips now, he'd just start crying—so instead, he only smiles, hoping that it comes off as genuine. Going by the way that Chanhee's eyes lose that spark of his, it doesn't.

The Ruler drops his head, doesn't speak up for another minute. Changmin wants to hug him, if only that could make him cheer up; but he isn't sure whether he should, if that's even the right thing to do right then.

"I'm sorry for, you know, disappearing like that," Chanhee eventually adds in, his voice barely louder than a whisper. Changmin has to lean in to hear him better, "I don't know what came over me, but… I'm feeling better now," now, Changmin can't bring himself to fully believe that. Not while the other looks at him like he's just as much in need of comfort as Changmin feels, "so if you're still… if you need a shoulder to cry on, or something, then, you know. I'm here for you."

And perhaps these are the exact words that he needed to hear, because in the next minute he completely breaks down. Trying to muffle his sobs in Chanhee's clothes as the other holds him, he thinks, maybe they were coping with this the wrong way after all. Maybe they should have done this together since the beginning.

Because Chanhee is the only person that he has left. And Chanhee is the only person that shares the same memories of Sunwoo as he does, so Changmin doesn't have to explain anything, he can just let Chanhee hug him as he cries.

His touch brings more comfort to Changmin than the entire week of following Younghoon around ever could.

It's a startling realization; he's vaguely aware of how blinded he is by his feelings towards his human, so admitting such a thing doesn't come easily. But that's the thing; Chanhee had always been here for him. And Changmin loves him, dearly, though in this very moment, he isn't sure whether it's actually platonic or not.

The confusion doesn't help him feel better, but Chanhee rubs gentle circles into his back to soothe him and for a moment, he can forget all about his own uncertainty, just to send the other a thankful smile.

Chanhee is here for him. He always will. They're bound to spend the whole eternity together.

Even after Sunwoo's departure.

「 🌙 」

It's bittersweet now, taking care of Younghoon.

After all these conflicting feelings, Changmin can't really focus. He can't bring himself to enjoy his job as much as he used to when he can't even recognize his own reflection. Despite Chanhee's best attempts at cheering him up, he still thinks of Sunwoo and feels himself growing numb.

Because he's self-aware. He knows that it could be him. Actually, it _should_ have been him, instead of Sunwoo, to be reported. He's the one that fell in love with a human, after all; Sunwoo did nothing wrong. And yet he's the one banished while Changmin keeps his job.

It's absurd.

And Changmin can't help but blame himself, even as he sits in his aerial form on Younghoon's bed, watching him flip through a textbook of sorts. He can't even bring himself to feel curious what it could be about. Currently, he's just working for the sake of keeping busy.

Observing Younghoon but without really paying attention.

He's well aware that what he's doing is risky. He's right in Younghoon's personal bubble, resting on his blanket, breathing in the familiar scent of everything Younghoon; but surprisingly, it doesn't affect him at all. Like that spark that was always there suddenly disappeared.

Changmin is positive that he knows the reason why. Surely, it's because Changmin still has to hide. If he were able to stay in Younghoon's presence without a disguise, then he's sure that he would feel it again. That same fascination, that same excitement; all of it that reminds him of the boy currently perched by the desk on the other side of the room.

The funny thing is, Younghoon doesn't seem too interested in what he's reading either. He fiddles with a pen, crosses his legs just to sit straight again, and his eyelids seem to drop closed without him even realizing. He's tired, it's obvious, probably since he had pulled an all nighter practising. At least Changmin isn't the only one that can't focus.

He wants to smooth out that wrinkle between Younghoon's eyebrows. He wants to close that textbook, throw a blanket over the boy's shoulder and tell him to sleep.

But all he can do is continue to observe him quietly, as if he wasn't even there.

Being someone's guardian angel feels an awful lot like living a lie, he concludes. He genuinely loved it before, but now? Now, he's not so sure.

Bored, he turns towards his right wing, preeing the feathers with gentle fingers. He hasn't done it in a while; his wings definitely don't look their best, probably reflecting his own frame of mind.

He's never thought of it like that before, but now he realizes that his wings are what he's grown to hate the most. Because, they're the exact reason why Changmin can't be with Younghoon.

He doesn't want to be an angel anymore. But he doesn't know what he wants to be, either—he will never be human. It doesn't work like that. If he can't be an angel, then what _could_ he be? A demon? It never sounded appealing before.

But maybe, if that's the only way for him to be allowed to love, then maybe it doesn't sound that bad.

The full-body shiver that follows the thought is a scary one, because it comes with an emotion that he recognizes all too well. He's well aware that if he ever voices that thought, he would have been banished from Heaven.

Though, maybe, that would be better than living a lie.

Glancing at Younghoon again, he can't stop himself from whispering, "I wish things were different."

Younghoon's eyebrows furrow as he lifts his head, looking around the room. He probably didn't even catch the words, only registered an incomprehensible murmur; it doesn't take too long before he shrugs, like he's convinced himself that he's just imagining things.

He doesn't want to be considered that; just a pigment of someone's imagination. He wants to be known for who he is.

That's when Changmin makes up his mind.

He can't go on like this. Not anymore.

「 🌙 」

"Chanhee, I have something to tell you."

The Ruler stares at him blankly for what feels like ages. He's holding a stack of documents in his hands, most likely related to his own work, but Changmin couldn't care less about that right now. This is a serious situation, and he needs to be true to Chanhee.

For the sake of his own conscience.

Probably sensing that this isn't a laughing matter, Chanhee sets the paperwork down, turning to face him fully to show that he's listening.

He's here for Changmin, like he always is. Changmin… wishes he could say the same. He isn't sure anymore, though. Not about how dear Chanhee is to his heart, but about how emotionally available he is, when he's pretty sure he's slowly losing it. Come on, a human-wannabe angel? Who could even come up with such a thing? He isn't sure whether it's more pathetic or pitiful of him.

"Yeah?" Chanhee prods, voice gentle despite the curious look in his eye, "what is it?"

Well, here's the thing. Changmin didn't really think this through. He'd come up with a few scenarios of how this conversation could go but in the end, he isn't even sure how to say this.

So he drops his gaze, running a hand through his hair as he sighs. This is difficult. Yes, he wants to let Chanhee know the truth, but he's also scared of the other's reaction; he knows how sacred the heavenly rules had always been to the Ruler. He'd always been the lawful one in their friendship. Changmin and Sunwoo, on the other hand, were the ones that would question it behind closed doors.

Perhaps that's what eventually got Sunwoo exiled.

Honestly, at this point, Changmin wouldn't be surprised if he'd follow Sunwoo soon.

"Okay," he starts, then pauses, trying to look for the right words, "this may sound a bit… wild, I guess, but. I thought that it's only fair to let you know. Just in case."

Silently, Chanhee just raises an eyebrow. He squirms in place, shifting his weight from one leg to another and his wings flutter slightly, almost like he's nervous. Actually, he does appear a bit concerned, now that Changmin pays attention to it.

"I'm listening," he replies, quiet, vague. Changmin takes a calming breath in, then slowly releases it.

"Okay, so," he brings a hand up to his neck, then drops it, avoiding Chanhee's eyes for a couple more seconds before he finally meets the Ruler's gaze, "Chanhee, I know that you're probably going to report me if I tell you this, but I—" he drifts off, makes some vague hand gesture. He tries to breathe normally to calm his erratic heart but he just _can't_ , not while he's this anxious, "what I feel for Younghoon is nothing like the simple fondness of a Guardian. This… this is love. Romantic love. I'm in love with him."

With that, he glances away, then once again, really looks at Chanhee. Chanhee, who, surprisingly, doesn't even react at first, like it's taking him so much time to register Changmin's words. His eyebrows furrow, and he parts his lips just go close them again, then eventually, he just huffs out, "are you serious?"

It's almost insulting, the fact that the other even feels the need to ask that. Before Changmin could reply, though, Chanhee takes a step closer to him, and adds, "Changmin, no, stop—I, I get that he's very important to you but… you don't actually know him, you know _of_ him."

Frowning, Changmin moves back. Just as much as Chanhee stepped forward. The Ruler won't have that, though, because he immediately crowds right into Changmin's space, reaching out to clutch at his collar.

There's something… desperate, in Chanhee's eyes, now. The sight does things to his heart that he couldn't even name. He tries to ignore it, though, muttering a, "you're wrong. How would you even know what I feel? You've never been in love yourself."

The moment he spits out the last sentence, something in Chanhee's expression shifts. Now, he almost looks pained. It doesn't make sense.

"Listen to me," Chanhee begs. It only serves to show how serious he's being—the Ruler _never_ begs, he barely even asks for anything. He hates feeling like he's in debt, Changmin is well aware of that. So, he does as he's told, looking up to meet Chanhee's eye, "he doesn't even know you _exist_ —this isn't love, this is plain obsession."

"Obsession?" he repeats. A part of him knows that Chanhee is right, but he doesn't want to admit it. Scowling, he looks away, but the other tugs at his collar, effectively catching his attention again.

"What else would it be?"

This time, Chanhee's voice sounds higher than it usually does, like he's barely holding himself back—from what? Changmin could only guess. But he sounds so hopeless at that very moment, it makes Changmin's chest ache.

_Love_ , he wants to say; but he remains silent. He doesn't want to argue with Chanhee anymore. He never does. Playful fights, sure, but this? This is on a whole another level.

Taking a deep breath, he acts like he doesn't notice that Chanhee's hands are trembling. He nibbles on his lip, then chances, "you… aren't you going to report me?"

He doesn't expect the other to react the way he does, though.

"How could I, Changmin?" he whimpers, tightening his hold before he drops his hands, "how could I, when you're the last person that I have left?"

And just like that, Chanhee breaks down.

He's never seen the other cry before. Right now, though, the Ruler is standing before him, hands clutching at air as he tries to keep his breathing even, and Changmin feels… something. The type of desperation that he's never felt before.

He reaches out to wipe Chanhee's cheek, but he doesn't really get to do so. Not when it's at that very moment that they're interrupted.

"Changmin?" chimes in a voice that, surprisingly, he doesn't really get to hear too often. He turns around, away from Chanhee, to face Sangyeon. He's got a bad feeling about this.

For a moment, the Virtue doesn't say anything more. He looks a bit unsure of himself, but mostly concerned. Maybe even apologetic.

That confirms it; he's bringing bad news. Changmin's heart nearly drops down to his stomach.

Eventually, Sangyeon adds in, like it hurts to even say it out loud, "the higher ups want to speak with you."

「 🌙 」

It's snowing.

Changmin had always wanted to see it first hand, to watch the snow melt right in his palm, to feel the ice on his skin as he'd make a snowball to hit one of his friends with. He's seen humans do that, and he'd always wondered how snow would feel, how long it could stay solid in his embrace.

Now, as Changmin lies on a field of snow, stuck in his corporeal form, he can't bring himself to feel so fascinated about it. Not under such circumstances.

It's a bit ironic, he thinks. He'd always wished for a life among human beings, but now that he's been reported and then immediately banished from Heaven, he doesn't consider it as freeing as he once would have. Now, he just feels like he'd lost a very important part of him.

And he doesn't know what to do.

As he lets his eyes slip closed, losing his grasp on reality due to the overwhelming ache throughout his body, he wonders what's going to happen next. He'd never imagined his own Fall to feel like the end of life as he knew it. The end of everything, really.

「 🌙 」

But Changmin can manage. He got this far without giving up, he can get through this too.

He just needs some time to get himself together.

He isn't even sure how much time he spends there after he finally comes to; it wouldn't even be surprising if hours have passed since he first landed in the snow, and as he continues to lie there, letting his mind wander, think, what to do, what to do, what to do.

But he doesn't have any answer to that.

He doesn't have a place to call home anymore; not that Heaven was perfect for him in the first place. But this time, once he's on Earth, he isn't sure where to go. There isn't a place for him to spend the night, nor is there a person that would gladly take him home. He's aware of how the life below looks, but he doesn't even know how to blend in; it's not like he had to do it too often.

The funny thing is, when he thinks of home, his thoughts immediately come up with Younghoon.

Younghoon, Younghoon's house, his room, even. He still lives with his family, hasn't moved into a dorm when there's no planned debut to even speak of yet, and Changmin knows his bedroom just as well as he knows Heaven itself.

Home.

Younghoon.

That's right. He knows what to do.

Sitting up, he closes his eyes, trying to focus on Younghoon's seemingly everlasting presence at the back of his mind, but even as he ponders about the human's whereabouts… nothing comes up. As if their bond had been cut short by Changmin losing his Guardian title—and perhaps it was, it's more likely that it doesn't exist after such an event, but he doesn't want to believe this. Not yet.

Lowering his head, he cradles it in his hands, as if that would somehow help him focus and he tries to recall Younghoon, his eyes, his smile, his everything—and even though he's desperate, nothing works. He doesn't _feel_ Younghoon's existence like he used to.

Their bond has turned to ashes.

But Changmin would like to imagine that Younghoon will welcome him with open arms, regardless of that fact. They're close, right? Changmin knows him well, maybe even better than he knows himself at this point; surely Younghoon will be able to tell. Surely, even without their bond, the other should feel at least _some_ kind of pull towards Changmin. That's how it works, right?

After all, he shares a part of Younghoon's soul, although he can't pinpoint their connection anymore.

Even he considers it a bit naive coming from him, but this is his last chance, so he stands up and thinks of the places Younghoon seems to like the most. He's going to find the human eventually, even if it's going to take days, weeks, or even months.

Because, with his wings gone, the human he once cared for feels like the only thing that Changmin has left.

So he runs.

Out of the field, into the city that he knows so well now, after accompanying Younghoon on so many of his trips, walks, on everything, really. At one point, he grows tired, not used to sprinting around like that; his entire body still aches from the Fall, so really, it's a miracle that he even made it this far in the first place.

And so he searches for his human. He checks the cat café that he likes to visit so much, he wanders around the streets in hopes of noticing him by chance, and it's only by the time that he passes their company building that he notices Younghoon and Haknyeon leave practice.

His heart soars at the sight of his human. He can't even stop himself from smiling, but he quickly clears his throat, willing his face into a neutral expression.

Now, this is something he's seen many times. Younghoon, clad in a long coat, stepping out of the building with Haknyeon in tow. They're talking, not loud enough for Changmin to hear their conversation from such a distance, but they're walking in his direction and by the time they're right in front of him, Haknyeon finally notices him.

But Younghoon doesn't.

Changmin should have expected this, but his chest starts to hurt again anyway; just as much as when he Fell. It's, frankly, a bit concerning.

The Nephilim pauses in the middle of whatever he was saying, staring at Changmin's unmoving frame. He stops in place just like Changmin did, and it takes Younghoon a moment too long to realize that the other doesn't follow him; he turns, glancing from Changmin, to Haknyeon, then to Changmin again. Then he drops his gaze. Changmin's heart drops, too.

That's right, he remembers. Younghoon is feeling shy. He never really expected the human to feel this way because of him, though.

On the contrary, Haknyeon meets his eyes easily; he blinks, like he's trying to recall where he remembers Changmin from. Then, his face lights up and he points at him, a small smile forming on his lips.

"Oh, you're that cutie from the café," he says, like it hasn't been such a long time since then—honestly, Changmin is surprised that the other even remembers him. Though who knows, maybe it's just a Nephilim thing. Maybe they have a really good memory, or something.

This doesn't make him feel much better though. The entire situation feels wrong, what with the way that Younghoon looks at him—not cold, per se, but… it's not exactly a warm gaze, either. It's just like one would gaze at a stranger. Chanhee… was right, after all. What was he expecting, anyway? For his human to cheer the moment he'd see Changmin and throw himself right into his arms? Of course nothing like this would happen, not when they don't even personally know each other.

Changmin is aware that to Younghoon, they have never met. To Younghoon, Changmin is just another face, just another dude in the crowd. But to Changmin, Younghoon is everything.

To Changmin, Younghoon sounds like a sentimental song playing in the safety of his own room, he's the voice that joins into humming the lyrics, confident while completely alone. He's the giggles that fill a cat café while he plays with the pets instead of focusing on the drink he's ordered. He's the sound of rain pelting against the window while he's cozied up in his bed and reading a book.

To Changmin, he's the smell of coffee early in the morning that he only drinks to stay awake. He's the smell of fresh laundry when he puts it inside his wardrobe after he gets back home. He's the cold wooden floor of the practice room, but he's also the tickling grass on a Saturday afternoon. He's the quote of a textbook muttered late at night before an exam the following day; he's the balloon at a carnival that he let go of as a child, one that neither of them saw ever again.

To Changmin, he's all the weather changes that Changmin couldn't ever witness up in Heaven. He's the sun rising outside the window while Younghoon is still asleep, only a couple of minutes left before the alarm rings. He's the leaves that one steps onto with a satisfying crunch in Autumn, but he's also the snowdrops peeking out at the start of Spring.

He's everything that Changmin knows of the human world, but to Younghoon, Changmin is nothing more than a stranger.

Of course, this was never meant to be. Not in the way that Changmin wanted it, at least.

This probably shouldn't hurt as much as it does, but it takes him a great amount of self-control not to start crying right in front of the two. Now, that would make for a perplexing sight, not only to any unfortunate witness but also to Younghoon and Haknyeon themselves.

So, for the sake of keeping appearances, he blinks back the tears that threaten to show and he tries to act like his throat isn't closing up as he replies, "oh, yeah. I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you at first," and with that, he offers Haknyeon his hand, "I'm Changmin."

For the record, the other's smile widens a bit. He really seems nice, definitely the type of person that Changmin would like to call a friend, "Haknyeon," he introduces himself, as if Changmin didn't already know that. Then, he points at Younghoon who up until now, had only observed them from the side, and he adds in, "and that's Younghoon. Don't mind him, he's just a bit shy."

_I know_ , Changmin wants to say. He knows Younghoon as well as one possibly could without ever actually talking to him, but the other two have no idea; as they should. Even if he'd already fallen, he shouldn't reveal his ethereal identity so soon. Not yet, at least.

So he bites his lip to stop himself from saying something that he's going to regret, and he turns towards Younghoon, offering him a smile, "nice to meet you."

They don't shake hands. Younghoon only nods at him, but that's normal. Changmin should have expected this. This is the reality that he ignored up until now; they don't actually know each other. All his feelings towards Younghoon have always been unrequited, be it platonic or not.

The realization hits, perhaps, a bit too hard.

Maybe it's because Changmin had only just lost his wings the very same day. Maybe it's because he lost Sunwoo first, then Chanhee and Heaven, and now Younghoon as well. Maybe it all adds up into making him feel this way.

But Changmin's lip quivers, just slightly, and he's aware that he has to excuse himself before he breaks down right in front of the two. Changmin, crying in public, right where humans could easily see him. Now that's something he never expected to happen.

So he makes some vague gesture, and even he knows that the excuse he uses is a weak one, "yeah, I. I'm sorry, but I'm kinda running late, I have to go."

He barely even registers Haknyeon's easy _that's alright_ before he rushes away.

「 🌙 」

The thing is, Changmin isn't even sure where he's going.

He doesn't have a home anymore. There's no place for him to go back to. So all he does is rush forward; it reminds him of what Chanhee did for him once, a simple distraction that worked surprisingly well. It's what he's doing now, anyway. Distracting himself.

It feels like it's been such a long time since then. Since that day. Back then, Sunwoo was still with them. Back then, Changmin's greatest worry was whether Younghoon ate enough for breakfast.

Now, it just feels ironic.

He's longed to be free for so long that he never even realized what this would mean. That being exiled didn't exactly equal _free_ , more like, lost.

Because he's literally just that; he's lost. He isn't sure where he is anymore.

And to top it all off, it's cold. He's cold. He didn't really get to pick out an outfit suitable for the weather before he got banished, so now, all he can do is rub his palms together in hopes of feeling just a little bit warmer.

He's so distracted by all the conflicting thoughts inbis head that he doesn't even hear the hurried footsteps that get louder with every second.

Before he even knows what's happening, someone barrels right into him, hands clutching at his back in a painfully tight embrace. Startled, he pulls his arms back, but he doesn't try to squirm away. His instincts are telling him to run, but for some reason he can't even bring himself to move.

Maybe that reason is the familiar pink color of the hair currently tickling his cheek.

He stays frozen for what feels like ages; and as a being that outlived many human lifetimes, he has a pretty fitting idea of what that's like. Despite that, he only dares to blink, can't do anything more than that, too scared to raise his arms and hug Chanhee back, like that action alone would break the Ruler before him into pieces, or a puff of empyrean mist; nothing more than a mere mirage.

And yet Chanhee remains in place, glued to his chest for a prolonged amount of time, probably well past the platonic embrace timespan. Then, he finally lifts his head, and Changmin belatedly realizes that Chanhee may be crying.

He'd never seen the other close to tears, not to mention sobbing right in his arms; so to say that this feels slightly unreal to him would be an understatement.

"Changmin, what did you _do_?" the Ruler stresses out, his voice breaking towards the end of the question, and he looks so genuinely heartbroken that Changmin finds himself speechless for more reasons than he could even count.

Chanhee's hold on him is strong; which, knowing his rank, shouldn't be too surprising, yet he tends to forget that detail about their friendship sometimes. The fact that Chanhee was always the stronger one in their friendship, observant to the point of being able to predict things, more put-together than him.

There's that air of authority about him that seemed to dissolve whenever the three of them were together, like he was trying to minimize the differences between them, forget about their individual ranks altogether; and forget, Changmin did.

But now that he had fallen and for some reason Chanhee seeked him out, he's reminded that despite it all, the other is a Ruler; meanwhile Changmin can't even call himself a Guardian anymore.

Technically, they should be considered enemies from this point on. And yet, instead of slaying him, Chanhee just… clings to his chest. Almost like… like he's precious, to Chanhee. But that's probably just Changmin's wishful thinking.

He isn't sure how much time passes before Chanhee finally lifts his head; he can't be bothered to pay attention to something so trivial as seconds passing by, not when Chanhee is looking at him with overflowing emotion. He's used to the other remaining passive for comedy purposes, used to not being able to tell what Chanhee may be thinking at more serious times, but this… this is far from what Changmin knows. He doesn't even have any idea how he should react.

Chanhee raises a fist, but Changmin barely even processes the hollow impact when he hits his chest; compared to the previous embrace, there's no intent behind it, Changmin may have even gone as far to say that Chanhee is just pawing at him rather than actually laying a punch.

"You idiot," he huffs out, holding Changmin's gaze; he can't even bring himself to look away, "first Sunwoo left, and now _you_ did too?"

Stunned by the words, he remains silent.

This entire time, he hadn't even stopped to think about the consequences of his Fall, other than the ones directly affecting him. His mind may have wandered to Sunwoo, pondering about his friend's whereabouts, but he didn't actually consider how this could affect Chanhee.

Perhaps that was a bit foolish of him, but for some reason, it's like he just kind of assumed that the Ruler would be doing perfectly fine, all the way up in Heaven and busy with the work he'd always been so dutiful towards.

Now, met with the reality of Chanhee breaking down right in front of him, he realizes the fault in his own thinking.

"When Sunwoo left, it really fucking hurt—but, you know... I tried not to let it show, for your sake. Because I knew that you were in pain too, and I didn't want to make it worse, so when I had the energy to, I acted as if everything was alright," the Ruler says, pausing and taking his time to find the right words as he does so; his breathing is shallow now, like he's having trouble just trying to keep himself in check, and all Changmin wants is to bring Chanhee close to hopefully calm him down, but it doesn't quite feel like the right thing to do. So his arms remain useless by his sides.

"It wasn't easy," Chanhee continues; he doesn't look Changmin in the eye anymore. Maybe it's simpler for him to focus this way, or maybe he's just avoiding his gaze in fear of crying again. Changmin can only guess, "but I tried my best because I was sure that eventually, things _will_ be alright, even if it was going to be just me and you," with that, he pauses, lips quirking up in a smile that's, ironically, far from happy, "guess that I was wrong about that, huh?"

This may be the first time Changmin has ever heard the other sound so defeated.

Perhaps his Fall affected Chanhee just as much as it did Changmin himself.

At a loss of words, he parts his lips just to close them again, barely breathing out Chanhee's name; the two syllables hang in the air between them, but he finds himself unable to follow them up with any actual statement. It makes him feel… so pathetically weak. The fact that Chanhee seems disappointed by his silence doesn't help at all.

First, the Ruler pushes him back, and Changmin almost believes that's all there is to it; that Chanhee will deem this the end of their conversation, turn around, and go back _home_ , where Changmin isn't welcome anymore.

But the other may be battling some mental conflict because barely a few seconds pass before he grabs Changmin by the collar, pulling him closer again, enough so that the only thing Changmin can focus on is Chanhee's gaze.

"We were supposed to last forever—" and he hears it, the way Chanhee's voice breaks at that moment. It punches the air out of his lungs like no physical blow could, "how could you two leave me behind?"

Ashamed, all he can do is turn his head away. It hurts, it hurts to see Chanhee like this, to have the other acts so vulnerable. And it hurts that Changmin doesn't have a reply to that. He brings his hands up, hesitating before he rests his palms on Chanhee's forearms, hoping that the contact comes off at least somewhat comforting. Then, all he can say is, "I'm sorry."

It doesn't even sum up just how horrible he feels at that very moment, but he can't think of anything else to add, only murmurs again, "I'm really so sorry. I didn't—" _mean to_ , he can't bring himself to state, not when he's well aware that this was going to happen at some point anyway. Not when he didn't even try to stop it.

Dropping his head, Chanhee only shakes it once, twice. He huffs out, weak, "that won't bring you back home, Changmin, you know that," with that, he pauses, like he's heavily considering something. Changmin lets him think; it's the least he can do.

Eventually, the Ruler lifts his head again. This time, there's something fiery in his gaze, the sort of determination that Changmin didn't expect to see any time soon.

"It's all because of that damned rule," he mutters. It takes Changmin embarrassingly long to get what Chanhee is referring to, but when he does, his eyes widen; he'd never heard Chanhee speak of the rules like this. Sunwoo, sure, even Changmin himself complained about them, but Chanhee? The same dutiful Chanhee who religiously followed them every time? He stands there, unmoving, yet it feels like he'd just gotten whiplash.

"The heavenly law is millennia old—why should we still listen to it if it's so outdated?" the Ruler goes on, his hold on Changmin's collar tightening before it loosens once again, "this is absurd, it should have been reformed at some point, I just—I…"

As Chanhee drifts off, Changmin can only stare at him, stunned into silence. A few seconds pass by when neither of them speak, before Changmin finally manages to clear his throat and ask, "Chanhee, what… what are you getting at?"

The other sighs. He looks so defeated, but when he meets Changmin's gaze again, the fiery look is back. He's determined—but for what?"

"I don't care anymore," he responds, quiet, angry, "I'm going to report _myself_."

Changmin sucks in a breath.

It feels like for a moment, his heart completely stops beating. But before he could voice any thought, Chanhee is already speaking, "I mean, I'm a Ruler, right? Surely, they can't afford to lose me, not so easily. They'd have to find a replacement, and that would take too long, so they can't actually banish me. They'll have to listen instead. And, I mean—I'm sure that a lot of other angels find it questionable, too. If enough people get together, the ruler will _have_ to change, we just need to start it, they just need that initial push—"

"Chanhee," he blurts, effectively stopping the other from babbling on. The Ruler pauses his rant, staring at him like he'd almost forgotten about his presence altogether, and only when he's sure that the other is listening to him, does Changmin continue, "you'll report yourself for—what, exactly?"

"Well, isn't it obvious?" the other says, shrugging. No. No, it definitely isn't, he wants to mutter—but it seems like he doesn't have to, because Chanhee takes one look at his face before he elaborates, "for falling in love with you."

This time, Changmin is sure that his heart stops beating. And then it races ahead.

Seems like he was looking for love in the wrong place this entire time; it isn't until then, that he actually realizes it. For him, it's always been Chanhee.

His feelings for Younghoon were nothing more than a mirage, an unhealthy obsession with someone that never even knew of his existence. He'd confused it for the kind of love that he felt for Chanhee all along.

It took him until his own Fall to realize it, but yes, Changmin is in love. Just… not with the person he'd expected at first. But maybe it was obvious. Maybe if he tried to look past his initial denial, nothing like this would've happened.

He's in love with Chanhee.

「 🌙 」

The next time he meets Chanhee, two whole weeks have passed.

In the meantime, he'd managed to venture out into the Neath, meet a decent enough demon going by the name of Hyunjae—a name that he recognizes well, given the fact that before his Fall, Sunwoo had complained about too friendly Hellspawns the few times that he had to descend to Hell in work related purposes—and find a home there, or at least a place that he could stay at for some time. He still doesn't know where he truly belongs, but for now, this should be enough.

Though it's hard for him to ignore Younghoon's existence. He's been his Guardian for long enough to grow fond of him, so even after such a hard meeting with reality, he finds himself wandering around Earth in hopes of running into the human again.

He takes walks by their entertainment building, visits the café that Younghoon seemed to like so much, until eventually he deems that his behavior could pass as somewhat obsessive; so he forces himself to stop.

Instead, his legs carry him to libraries, to parks and smaller alleys; he goes to restaurants and bars, trying to find something, anything that would spark joy—and it works, even if only a bit. It does feel nice, it's just that there's something missing. Or someone.

After his realization regarding his own feelings towards Chanhee, they didn't get to talk much more. After all, such great changes need a plan, so whether he liked it or not, he had to let Chanhee go back to Heaven, plot the upcoming changes to the ridiculous rules. In the meantime, Changmin just… tries to settle in. As well as he can.

He's actually in his new house in the Neath, when Chanhee shows up. The Ruler appears in his living room in under a second, materializing right in front of Changmin's eyes, and at first, his eyes wander around the room, before he meets Changmin's gaze and smiles.

For the record, the sight makes something twist inside Changmin's chest. He loves that smile, and it takes him a lot of self-control not to walk up to Chanhee and plant a peck right on it. Instead, he only gapes at the Ruler, before he runs up to him, wrapping his arms tightly around Chanhee's thin frame. The other doesn't even bother hiding his snicker.

"You're—" Changmin starts, but then drifts off, pulling back slightly. Chanhee cocks an eyebrow at him, patiently waiting for him to continue, "how, um, how are you? How are things… up there?"

The last part he adds slightly quieter, uncertain, but the Ruler only waves his hand dismissively, "I told you. They couldn't fire me, not so easily," then, he gestures towards himself, "as you can see, I'm still here, all pairs of wings still intact."

"That's… good," he breathes out, and Chanhee huffs out something that's probably meant to be a chuckle, though it cuts off shortly, like he's trying to hide the fondness practically radiating off him.

"Yeah," he hums, tilting his head; his smile dims just the tiniest bit, but it remains, "it's… wild, now, up in Heaven. And there's so much paperwork, but… it's a good change, I can feel it."

This time, Changmin doesn't stop himself from grinning. He probably looks like a fool, but could anyone blame him? Things are finally looking up for them. Yes, he may have fallen, but living in Heaven wasn't really for him anyway. Maybe his place is in the Neath. Or maybe it's where Chanhee is.

This feeling in his chest… it doesn't feel forced like it did with Younghoon. It doesn't feel scary, nor maddening, it just… it feels right.

With Chanhee, it finally feels right.

**Author's Note:**

> phew, did the ending feel rushed? i hope not.   
>  anyway, please leave some feedback if you liked this!! i would really appreciate it!   
>  actually, i've been thinking of _maybe_ adding a 2nd chapter to this, one in which changmin would learn to actually, properly love younghoon too? instead of mistaking platonic affection for romantic? but idk if anyone would want to read that so ???????
> 
> also, here's my [twt](https://twitter.com/ddonibell)!


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